Just because you don’t see me tanking it does not mean I am not tanking it.
Just because stuff pulls off of me does not mean I don’t have it under control.
Look. I am a Bear. Bears have not ranged silences. That means I can’t move all those casters spread all over FoS around where I would rather have them. I have to leave them standing over there. No don’t send your pet to off tank it leave it the *** alone. No don’t you go off tank it. **** ****! No, don’t start shooting it, just LEAVE IT ALONE.
See there is something bears CAN do with those casters. I call it ranged tanking. It works like this. Wait for the caster to pull off of you and then fire Growl followed instantly by Feral Feairy Fire. Yeah, that is it. Now it is on me again. So get your ***ing pet the ****** off of it! And don’t think you are ‘helping the tank’. You did not even know to stop dps during the ‘mirror’ so you clearly don’t know *****.
Oh, and one more thing. If you pull agro off me, CHANGE YOU FRIKIN TARGET. I have one taunt and just one. And it only works once every 8 seconds and you ain’t the only one doing high threat. If I have to taunt off you more than twice in a fight chances are I will not bother to the third time. Yeah, that repair bill? Your welcome. Learn the lesson.
Just in case you are still confused let me spell it out.
I know I change targets a lot. You probably can’t tell which one I am on. But if you shoot at one in the melee pack you are probably ok. No, that guy over there in the corner is not in the melee pack. Look if you have not figured out ‘tab’ or ‘assist’ or just plain randomly clicking on stuff near the tank, do me a favor and never queue for a heroic again.
I drew this great picture of a bear in a witch’s hat saying ‘and ur lil dog too!’ but I forgot my iphone. Just pretend it is here.
Ug. Maybe my next tank will be a pally. No, not for the range silence. So I can DI *%@#$^&*ers that @#$&()&% my damn pulls.
In cata can I pay a priest to follow me around and life grip people into the fire? Oh I so want that. Of course blizzard will probably mess up my plan by adding a built in bubble effect to lifegrip. Can I tank as a priest? Then I could lifegrip them into cleaves. That would be nice. I think I will sit here and dream of how nice that would be…
So I have been waiting all day for someone I ran a raid with last night to post an update. What is up with that? Some people are so slow at updating their blog.